Staying on a theme here, at one of my friends’ weddings the best man gave a speech about how you can tell a lot about a person based on the nicknames they have. Now, I have never been one to have really great nicknames. Mostly just plays on my own name, nothing interesting or fun, except for a few, BGT which I will not talk about now and then two others given to me by an ex girlfriends dad. I used to date this girl from Maryland, her father was a bit odd, and he at first called me OJ because I was from Florida and apparently Orange Juice is too. That did not last long, something having to do with a football player who allegedly murdered some people, not sure what ever happened with that story. Anyway, I eventually got a new nickname from him after two visits to the families house landed me in the ER, so from then on I was known as ER. Not a terrible nickname really but nothing to be proud of either, although it has been appropriate at times. I actually landed in the ER a lot of times while I was involved with that girl, two asthma attacks while visiting her family, a really bad car accident, and the time I got hit in the face with a baseball bat.
Maybe it was just her, because since that relationship ended I have gone to the hospital a lot less, twice in college, and not at all in the last 4 years or so. Until last night that is, when my lovely streak ended and my nickname again became relevant. For a week since returning home from another wedding in Key West I have had this pain in my lower abdomen but thought it was just a pulled muscle and that it would go away. Unfortunately, it has not gone away and on Sunday night the pain seemed to be spreading. I could feel it all over and it was now in places where guys don’t like to feel pain at all, I was barely able to sleep that night. When I awoke Monday I decided to work from home and see how I felt during the day. By 4 I decided it was time to go see a doctor. Thankfully, the hospital is less than a mile from my house and they were quick too. Apparently, pain in your junk is an easy way to get fast tracked, not as fast as the asthma route, but fast enough. So, I got a sonogram, they ran some tests and then they poked and prodded me until they found the source of my pain. A fucking hernia, how it happened I have no idea, but it hurts like hell and will most likely need surgery. Which will be a first for me and I am not looking forward to it. I will however, enjoy the pain medication that they prescribe very much.
I will keep more info on this as I know it and if anyone knows the protocol for gift giving in this situation please let me know because I could use some things to keep me busy for the month that I won’t be going to the gym and the days I will be in bed.
