I’m all here because I’m not all there

Yup, I am back in VA, doing just fine, I know some of the folks down in Florida have been checking in. They want to see what I have to say about them, my time there and all that. And I am really sorry to disappoint that I have yet to put any of that up. It’s just that every time I begin my ode to Krissy Rocca the language tends to get so not safe for work that I just stop and discard the whole thing. I feel dirty even thinking about it actually. Plus, I wouldn’t want someone to Google her and have that be the first thing they find. The imagination will have to handle the rest. Still, there were things I guess that were worth mentioning besides what I posted while I was down there.

 

Actually, there really isn’t much to say at all that I haven’t already said. Florida was what it was and while I miss it I don’t think I could do any of it justice here. But, I will say this, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by more lovely and talented women than I deserve and for that I am really grateful. From the ones I saw only for a short amount of time to the ones who probably saw me enough to get sick of me. I am sorry for making a mess in your house, thank you for letting me in on your conversations and you are all welcome in to come visit me in the Mid Atlantic. That’s an honest invite unlike some of the invites I sent out for my Seder next week.

 

And on that note I have a house to prepare and shopping to do for Passover.

Nothing new under the (Florida) Sun

Today is my last day in Florida and I am really looking forward to going back home. The initial premise of this trip was two weeks of relaxation and great weather. The weather for the most part held up, the relaxation not as much. Just like I remember from when I grew up here there was a lot of driving. Everything is so spread out and I spent countless hours here in traffic. But, that was not all I did of course, I worked, I watched sports including my friends kickball game, and I ate at all of my favorite places, plus I got to shop at Publix almost everyday. And if you have not heard about my perhaps unnatural affection for Publix you have not talked to me very much. So, after two weeks here all I can really say is that except for a few differences this trip was like every other. It is hardly a new concept that things don’t really change all that much but even with all the growth and development of the place I grew up everything still feels the exact same to me. People go out to the same areas even if the names have changed, Las Olas is still beautiful, the beach is still the beach, the rain storms are just as scary and erratic as I remember and my friends are still as elusive and intriguing as they have always been.

 

I guess it is the people that make things feel the same despite all the change around them. My mom stresses me out, my sister makes me worry, Christine and her friends talk as if I am not around on topics most guys never get to hear, and Nicole and I will make plans to see some obscure movie that no one else would possibly go to with us. If DC and Florida were to be compared and contrasted as to what they represent in my life DC would be testosterone and Florida would be estrogen. It will always be that way, and even though women are often changing they still feel the same to me. Although, I really could use a few nights out with my guy friends now, all this girl stuff is driving me crazy, I mean, as has been true all my life, even the dogs are girls. See, nothing really changes.

Bump in the night

If there were a top ten list of reasons I couldn’t live in South Florida the events of last night would be number 1. I had a great time last night, I got very drunk, and I spent a reasonable amount of money doing it at a bar that didn’t suck. But, I was in downtown Ft. Lauderdale and I bumped into so many people from my past. This used to not be a problem, because during college I shaved my head and people didn’t recognize me, but now that I am growing my hair out I look pretty much the same. However, I still do not remember anyone, I am not sure why that is but I never remember any of these peoples names, sometimes I do not recognize them at all. And I suck at bullshit. I talked to one kid that I know is from my fraternity, no idea what his name his, another from camp that introduced himself to me or else I would have had no idea. The best one though was when a guy came up to me and said “Good to see you, blah blah blah.” I answered, and then he looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “You have no idea who I am.” My answer to that was simply “none”. How could I? Someone gave me an Irish car bomb and apparently the drinks were free. Anyway, I did find out who this guy was and talked to him for a little while. Having nights like this once in a while is fine, but if it happened too often I think I would get really sick of it.

I couldn’t possibly get lost

Driving is one of those things that I just love to do. For as long as I have been able to drive I have been taking road trips, sometimes they get tiresome but on a nice day I usually do not mind a long drive. Even short drives can be enjoyable to me, as long as traffic or detours do not get in the way of the simplicity of just going forward. Now, during many of my trips the directions have always been straightforward and rarely do I get lost. Still, over this past week I have been cruising around South Florida and just got this great feeling that I could not possibly get lost down here no matter what happened. For all the shit I talk about how I wouldn’t live here or how trashy I think the architecture down here now looks, I really did enjoy the familiarity of the roads. I have been all over the place too and it’s just fun for me to always know exactly where I am and no matter what detours come up, like the bike parade today, or missing a highway exit I can still get to where I was going with ease. It doesn’t hurt that you always know which direction you are going because the beach is always on your east hand side. And on that note I am off to get LaSpadas before checking out the Gator game.

Girls miss college more than guys

This is probably 100% incorrect, it might be rude and it’s almost definitely idiotic. Still, it seems to me that the girls I know openly miss college more than the guys I know. Sure, my guy friends and I reminisce and often times like to talk about how much fun we had but never in those conversations do we get to wishing for a return. It’s not that we are more mature or grown out of that partying stage; I think it’s just that we came to terms with it and realize that we can still date and get away with hooking up with younger girls, who sometimes are still in college. Girls, on the other hand, usually skew older in their preferred mates, making it harder to relive the same type of NSA enjoyment that came from long hours of $1 beers at the Salty Dog. Plus, it is much harder to be a cleat chaser outside of school. The big prize for guys is still the same, insert hot girl to make friends jealous, but for girls it is no longer the starting QB, some baseball player or the president of the fraternity, it’s your boss, any random rich dude or some other person in a power position. Not as glamorous as say for example hooking up with me would have been a few years ago.

 

Ok, Ok, hooking up with me would still be quite a prize, just not the same since I am now either younger or the same age as most of the young women I am surrounded by and no longer carry all that much influence. This still works well for me since my age range is anywhere from 5 years younger to 10 years older. I am hardly discriminating in the age category, as for everything else; well that is an entirely different story. But, lets get back on topic, frequently I hear my girl friends talking about how they want to go back to Gainesville or some year that they had a lot of fun in college and I really think it comes down to more than just the hook up factor, there is of course the lack of real responsibility, the carefree attitude and well, the drunken hook ups that were so much easier to pull off when everything you need is within 4 miles.  Unfortunately, for all of us there is no going back, and we can not get away with the things we used to do like proctoring an exam still drunk from the night before. But, we do have other things to look forward, and when I can actually think of them I might just write about it. Until then girls, keep on chasing cleats no matter how much harder it gets.  

Getting hit on by dudes is nothing new

But it happens in the oddest places. I do not know exactly what it is that makes me a gay magnet but it has happened enough over the years that I can no longer view it as random. In high school there was a guy who had a crush on me that was not happy when I turned him down. That led to a few nasty lies spread around and my friends giving me a cute nickname, BGT. You can guess what the initials stand for. Since then I have been hit on by the hairdressers, guys on the street, in Key West, at the gym and just last night after a hyperbaric oxygen treatment. I guess I put myself in places where this may be more common than others like a hyperbaric treatment center and Key West. But, after my early reactions to this which were blatantly homophobic I have changed my tune entirely. Now, I just take it in stride and figure a compliment is a compliment even if it is not from my preferred sex. However, I have not gotten to the point of one of my friends who now lives in LA. His theory is that everyone likes to be flirted with, gay or straight, so he flirts with everyone. It is manipulative as shit but damn if it doesn’t get him free drinks and invites to some pretty good parties. I won’t be going that far but I will graciously take the compliments no matter where they come from.

Home is just an idea

I am “home” in South Florida for a few weeks. If by home you mean staying at a house that I have never personally lived in that does not have any of my stuff. But, my mom does live there now, so it is sort of home, even though the next time I come to South Florida she will have moved and I will be going to visit “home” at an entirely different place. This got me thinking that home, at least for me, has never been a place, it is just an idea. When I leave the office I go home, when I leave Virginia I often go home, when I go to Minnesota I also sort of go home. I have called more places home than I can remember, between my parents divorce to constant moves to college and beyond. It seems every year I have a new place to call home. And that can get a bit confusing, so I am over the home as a place concept. I could have two new homes in the next few months with my mom moving and myself possibly needing to find a new place as well. So, here is a list of places that will now qualify as home should the question come up:

 

1. Anywhere your parents live whether you lived there or not.
2. Anywhere you happen to live, no matter how long, if it holds your things and most importantly your bed that is home.
3. If you have buried your relatives there that was most likely a place you called home.
4. College will remain to be considered college unless you are in college in which case the place you live in at college can be considered home. Although dorm rooms don’t really count, so just if you live off campus really.

And

1. If you are Jewish Israel is always home whether you want to live there or not. Any place that will take you unconditionally can be considered home, so that gets the nod in my new definition.

 

Any thing else that needs to be added? I think this covers it well.

Just Be

One of the major practices in Judaism is the observance of Shabbat. In my pre Bar Mitzvah days this represented to me being forced to go to services on Friday or Saturday morning. Back then services were spent mostly running around with the other kids my age, not paying attention and trying not to get in trouble while flirting with the Hebrew school girls. In my post Bar Mitzvah days my attendance at services seriously waned, at first we still went on high holidays, then just once in a while until finally we didn’t go at all. But, in the past few years my feeling toward Shabbat has changed greatly, I no longer just look forward to another weekend; I look forward to a day of rest. I still do not go to Temple as much as I would like but I do make it a point to welcome Shabbat and let a little peace into my life no matter what is going on. Tonight, I will light the candles, close my eyes and let go of all the tasks that make up every other day of the week. It seems so simple and yet so many of us never do it. I am not overly religious but I would like the observance of Shabbat to become a constant in my life.

Someday, I hope to be able to pass on this tradition to a family of my own. I look forward to someday leaving a long week of work to attend Friday night services followed by a family meal and then spend 24 hours to just be. The rest can wait, and I can rest.

Shabbat Shalom

You can judge a person by the nicknames they have

Staying on a theme here, at one of my friends’ weddings the best man gave a speech about how you can tell a lot about a person based on the nicknames they have. Now, I have never been one to have really great nicknames. Mostly just plays on my own name, nothing interesting or fun, except for a few, BGT which I will not talk about now and then two others given to me by an ex girlfriends dad. I used to date this girl from Maryland, her father was a bit odd, and he at first called me OJ because I was from Florida and apparently Orange Juice is too. That did not last long, something having to do with a football player who allegedly murdered some people, not sure what ever happened with that story. Anyway, I eventually got a new nickname from him after two visits to the families house landed me in the ER, so from then on I was known as ER. Not a terrible nickname really but nothing to be proud of either, although it has been appropriate at times. I actually landed in the ER a lot of times while I was involved with that girl, two asthma attacks while visiting her family, a really bad car accident, and the time I got hit in the face with a baseball bat.

 

Maybe it was just her, because since that relationship ended I have gone to the hospital a lot less, twice in college, and not at all in the last 4 years or so. Until last night that is, when my lovely streak ended and my nickname again became relevant. For a week since returning home from another wedding in Key West I have had this pain in my lower abdomen but thought it was just a pulled muscle and that it would go away. Unfortunately, it has not gone away and on Sunday night the pain seemed to be spreading. I could feel it all over and it was now in places where guys don’t like to feel pain at all, I was barely able to sleep that night. When I awoke Monday I decided to work from home and see how I felt during the day. By 4 I decided it was time to go see a doctor. Thankfully, the hospital is less than a mile from my house and they were quick too. Apparently, pain in your junk is an easy way to get fast tracked, not as fast as the asthma route, but fast enough. So, I got a sonogram, they ran some tests and then they poked and prodded me until they found the source of my pain. A fucking hernia, how it happened I have no idea, but it hurts like hell and will most likely need surgery. Which will be a first for me and I am not looking forward to it. I will however, enjoy the pain medication that they prescribe very much.

 

I will keep more info on this as I know it and if anyone knows the protocol for gift giving in this situation please let me know because I could use some things to keep me busy for the month that I won’t be going to the gym and the days I will be in bed.

It’s Spring…ish

OK, so it probably isn’t really Spring, it may not even be close. After three years in DC I still have no idea when the seasons actually change. To be fair growing up in Florida we only had the one season, I think they call it HOT, which was followed by a lovely two weeks we called cold (it was an average of 65). Anyway the sun is shining, it is a bit warmer here and the stupid snow is melting. But that isn’t why it is springish, no that’s because they are playing baseball in Florida and Arizona. Next to the Gators the only team I get really excited for is the Minnesota Twins, which makes March an awesome month for me. The NCAA tournament will be here soon and already there are baseball articles and highlights hitting the sports pages. And if I am lucky, two weeks from now I will get to see the Twins – O’s at Ft. Lauderdale stadium. Then get back to DC in time to catch another Gator run for a National Championship, not to mention spring practice is starting soon. Basically, what is there to complain about this time of year?